This is the third in a series of responses to essays that were submitted for The Yoga of Change. I, Jennifer Hubbard along with my sister, Karla McLaren, author of, The Language of Emotions; What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You will be responding together. Our approaches are different, but complementary. We welcome your response and hope this will become a conversation. Please direct responses to: Jennifer –at- self-authoredchange.com.
Essay:
I have many reasons why I would like to attend this “Yoga of Change” retreat. I’m 32 years old, the mother of a 6 year old, and a wife of 12 years. I’m in a rut with my life right now. I’m not happy with my job. We’re looking at buying a house; however we have some things to clean up before we can do that. I’m overweight with some medical conditions, including high cholesterol, thyroid problems, lack of energy, and depression, just to name a few. We’re trying to have another baby, but I ended up with a very large cyst on my ovary. The cyst is a complex cyst, which is a cluster of a bunch of smaller ones. One ruptured on New Year’s Eve, while we were on our way out of town. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever had. It continues to be painful off and on, and the more stress I’m under, the more it hurts. I’m at a point where I’m ready to give up. I have made a resolution to reduce the stress in my life this year, and the more I try to reduce it, it seems to triple. I need meditation and reflection time. I need to “get away from it all”. I love to practice yoga, but lately, I haven’t even had the energy or will power to practice. I have become a hermit, and tend to go to work, and come home. I don’t like to go out, or even spend time with friends right now. I’m hopeful that this retreat will give me hope, strength, and a renewed sense of self. I’m also hoping that it will get me to a better place in my life. Thank you for the opportunity to express my feelings and look forward to hopefully making it to the retreat! L L
Dear LL;
There is no better way to deal with stress than to take better care of oneself. Life pushes us out of balance, constantly. We naturally react by trying to get away from the source that is causing the imbalance, but often do this in ways that create more imbalance. You say that you feel like giving up, and are just getting through the days. Your system is tired and overburdened, I have been in that state and am very empathetic to your current suffering.
Your instincts are working well; you could use a healing retreat, a rest, a break. You need some time to reset yourself with rest, easily digested foods, time for reflection, gentle and frequent movement and deep relaxation so that your system can rebound. It seems like you have a healthy sense of your needs, but are not clear about what to do with them. This may be a sign that you need to consult an able helper, perhaps seek medical help from an endocrinologist or consult a nutritionist. You would benefit greatly from the help of an able guide and my vague sense of you from your letter leads me to believe that you can judge well for yourself who can help you. Because your hormonal system is out of kilter, it is not possible to offer clear suggestions without meeting you, similar symptoms are often the result of very different imbalances. Yoga therapy can be very helpful for re-balancing the endocrine system, but not just any yoga will do. Some methods could exacerbate your problems. I can recommend Viniyoga, restorative yoga or seeing a good yoga therapist.
I would like to encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you find your way out of this. You are experiencing the effects of a destructive pattern and have fallen into a hole that is unique to you. In order to find your way out, you must respect your body, your wisdom, and make good choices. Start small, challenge yourself to eat 3 different vegetables each day. Take a 10 minute walk in the morning, something that you know you can commit to doing daily. Add healthy behaviors slowly, a brief rest in the afternoon, a cup of herbal tea, read something inspiring. The main idea is to add things into your life that both restore and enliven you. Don’t think about what NOT to do, focus on what TO do. To reverse a negative downward spiral the trick is to start spiraling in a more positive direction by taking positive action.
And of course, you would be most welcome at the upcoming retreat.
Jennifer Hubbard
No related posts.
